The G-Wagen’s styling is opinion-splitting and greatly depends on how attractive you find a file cabinet. That’s because the G-Wagen’s design is based on one, sharing things like right angles and protruding door handles. Actually, given the G-Wagen’s age, the file cabinet may have come second.
There are three things I love about the G-Wagen’s design. One is the satisfying click of the doors closing – a sound that simply says “job well done,” whether it’s to German troops who just destroyed an enemy village or Beverly Hills housewives who just bought some Prada shoes.
I also love everything about the spare tire cover, which foregoes the canvas or cheap plastic used by rivals. Instead, it’s a heavy, body-colored piece of metal that spells out “Mercedes-Benz” in fine printing. This gives the peasants something to read when they’re stuck behind you in traffic. They certainly won’t see over you.
But the best exterior element is the front turn signals. They’re not integrated into the headlights; instead, they’re mounted on top of the front fenders, serving as a constant reminder that your car is so hardcore that it didn’t originally come with turn signals. On AMG models, they’re covered in tiny little brush guards, which makes about as much sense as bringing a baseball glove to an MLB game. Of course, AMG owners would probably offer similar logic as the glove wearers: you never know when you might need it.
Climbing In
Considering the G-Wagen’s militaristic exterior styling, its interior is surprisingly tame. For the most part, you’d think you were sitting in any other Mercedes – that is, once you make the steep climb to the interior. Small people must take a running start. But it’s OK, because they’re rewarded with that lovely door latch sound.
Naturally, there are a few vestigial military items inside. For example, the grab handle in the passenger-side dashboard is so firmly welded in place that it may be structural. And the turn signal stalk requires the strength of a German soldier to push. This is largely a non-issue, since it’s not like most G-Wagen drivers plan on using their turn signals anyway.
Mercedes has, however, taken a few steps to give the civilian G-Wagen’s cabin less of a “United Nations peacekeeper” look. For example: the grab handle includes a strip of fake wood. Quaint.
Driving the G-Wagen